Bend - Bromberg K. - Страница 94

Eli was just about to respond, when Cain beat him to it.

“You should have taken the time to know that,” he said softly, like this was a conversation just between the two of us. "You deserve respect, and in order to understand that, maybe a little self-respect is what you need the most."

I nodded slowly, my eyes drifting down to the kitchen tile. I felt a gentle hand come up to my jaw, and raise my head up to meet a pair of russet-colored eyes.

“You have to learn to respect yourself,” Cain told me with gentle brutality, his hand still holding my face. “Sexuality isn’t a privilege or a lifestyle, Paige. It’s a person’s right. You can do anything you want to do with…whomever. But you have to respect yourself, and make sure that the other person damn well respects you too.”

I let those words churn over in my mind a little before I even thought about responding. Letting out a breath that I didn’t even realize I had been holding, I made sure to meet both of their gazes straight-on. He was right. They were right. I had a long way to go, but it wouldn't be any shorter if I continued on this self-destructive path.

“I’m sorry.” I genuinely confessed. "I know that you're both right. I'll work on it, I promise."

chapter 9

It had been nearly four months since that awful episode with Trevor and my men hosting their "come to Jesus" meeting with me. Since then, I had worked my ass off, both at the academy, and at home. And I had fought the temptation for any further random hook-ups, which I found was much easier if I wore myself out physically.

So that's what I did, both in the gym, at home, and with Cain.

Let me explain. I helped Cain every chance I got with his catering business. It was a win-win because not only did I earn some extra cash, but I stayed out of trouble. Little by little I started banking some self-respect along the way.

I was pretty sure that I had earned both Cain and Eli's respect in the meantime, if I hadn't had it before. I think they had been genuinely concerned about me—they cared about me and, in return, I had this unfamiliar need to please them. That was a first for me.

I paid off my car, and had some additional spending money, which I put to good use, sprucing up my wardrobe, and buying some decorative things for the house, determined that it would have my signature style right along with theirs. After all, we were all in this thing together. It felt good to belong somewhere, and I knew that I did.

I had kept a professional attitude where Darin was concerned. I mean, after all, he was still my superior and I needed to make sure that I kept everything above reproach.

Besides, I really had no ax to grind with him. Everything he had said to me that evening had been true. Any inkling of a committed relationship had been in my own mind. I couldn't hold him responsible for leading me on because he really hadn’t.

We were getting the house prepped for the holidays. Eli had made plans to spend Thanksgiving with Darcy and Easton; Trace and Lindsey were spending Thanksgiving with Lindsey's side of the family. Cain and I had been invited to Darcy's as well, but Cain had a major catering gig and I had offered my help.

And it wasn't as if Thanksgiving was that big of a deal to me anyway.

Now Christmas?

Yeah, that was another story. I had already brought up the artificial Christmas tree from the basement, along with the multiple boxes of decorations.

I had enlisted my men's help in rearranging the living room furniture so that our tree could be placed in front of the picture window, so all who traveled down our street could see it, once it was decorated, in all of its eclectic and electric magnificence.

My guys told me that once Thanksgiving had passed, we could get the tree and the outside lights that I had bought put up.

Cain and I got through catering the banquet at one of the local country clubs. Once home, we were exhausted, so we flopped down on the sofa for a breather.

"You did well tonight, Paige," he complimented. "You’re a damn good worker. I appreciate your jumping in to help out, being that a couple of my trusted employees called off last minute. I like that I can depend on you."

I looked over at him, my head resting against the back of the sofa. "It means a lot to me that you said that," I said with a sigh. "I'm not going to lie, though. It was a bitch today, Cain."

He nodded with a loud laugh on his lips and a silent one in his eyes.

It always took me completely off-guard when Cain laughed. I mean yeah, I knew that the guy was human…but when there was a smile on his face; he went from a brooding man to a boyish, sexy guy. It was friggin’ disarming, and I never fully knew how to react and keep the moment when it happened.

I didn’t even realize that I had probably been staring for a full-on minute when Cain looked over at me, a smaller smile hanging from his face. “You’re doing that staring thing again,” he teased.

My eyebrows crept together at that comment, “What staring thing?”

He let out another small laugh, and I kind of wanted to throw it in my pocket.

“That staring thing you do when you don’t think I’m paying attention,” Cain explained.

“Umm…I think someone needs to get his ego checked,” I nudged him playfully in the arm. “One, I don’t stare. And two, even if I did, what makes you think I’d waste it on someone who looks like they spend their spare time running over baby bunnies?” For bonus effect, I raised one eyebrow.

I watched his eyes widen as he looked at me, right before he threw his head back and let out a deep, rich laugh. He looked back over, “Baby bunnies? Where the hell do you even get this stuff?”

Waggling my eyebrows, I shrugged. “T.V.”

He snorted, and I turned fully so that my body was facing his entirely now. “No, seriously. T.V. can teach you a lot of things, my friend. For instance, when I was fourteen and I heard that Billy Jameson wanted to kiss me, I watched Beverly Hills 90210 for a solid afternoon.”

“And…?” Cain asked, with questioning eyes.

“Aaaand, not only did I learn how to kiss…,” I paused dramatically, before gesturing him to come closer, as if I planned on telling him my biggest, darkest secret. When he complied, I brought my face super close to his and whispered mischievously, “I learned how to French.”

Exuberant shock took over his features, and that earlier smile built a home in his voice as he asked, “And what did this Billy think?”

“Well,” I replied, tossing my hair back and having fun with this game we were playing. “He thought that I kissed way better than the sophomore girls.”

“Did he?”

It was such a quiet question. And for some reason, the low way Cain spoke those words were beginning to crack through the innocence of the moment we had just shared.

Our faces were still close together when I managed a small nod, a new kind of moment shocking through the lessening space between us.

His lips grazed mine first, and it was such a soft feeling that I knew if I had blinked, I wouldn’t have even felt it.

Until he gave me a second one.

This time, he ran his lips back and forth across mine, as if asking some arbitrary question. Looking back at that moment, I knew that I should've stopped it.

Ended it.

Started it on fire.

Torn it to shreds so that later, I could delve into the trash can and piece it all back together.

Instead, I sucked in a demanding breath and took his bottom lip between mine. Biting down lightly, I heard him softly growl right before feeling his hand lightly gripping the nape of my neck.

And that’s when he decided to throw gasoline on his next kiss.