Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Dahl Roald - Страница 21

21

'He won't be able to do anything!' cried Mrs Teavee.

'Oh, yes I will!' squeaked the tiny voice of Mike Teavee. 'I'll still be able to watch television!'

'Never again!' shouted Mr Teavee. 'I'm throwing the television set right out the window the moment we get home. I've had enough of television!'

When he heard this, Mike Teavee flew into a terrible tantrum. He started jumping up and down on the palm of his mother's hand, screaming and yelling and trying to bite her fingers. 'I want to watch television!' he squeaked. 'I want to watch television! I want to watch television! I want to watch television!'

'Here! Give him to me!' said Mr Teavee, and he took the tiny boy and shoved him into the breast pocket of his jacket and stuffed a handkerchief on top. Squeals and yells came from inside the pocket, and the pocket shook as the furious little prisoner fought to get out.

'Oh, Mr Wonka,' wailed Mrs Teavee, 'how can we make him grow?'

'Well,' said Mr Wonka, stroking his beard and gazing thoughtfully at the ceiling, 'I must say that's a wee bit tricky. But small boys are extremely springy and elastic. They stretch like mad. So what we'll do, we'll put him in a special machine I have for testing the stretchiness of chewing-gum! Maybe that will bring him back to what he was.'

'Oh, thank you!' said Mrs Teavee.

'Don't mention it, dear lady.'

'How far d'you think he'll stretch?' asked Mr Teavee.

'Maybe miles,' said Mr Wonka. 'Who knows? But he's going to be awfully thin. Everything gets thinner when you stretch it.'

'You mean like chewing-gum?' asked Mr Teavee.

'Exactly.'

'How thin will he be?' asked Mrs Teavee anxiously.

'I haven't the foggiest idea,' said Mr Wonka. 'And it doesn't really matter, anyway, because we'll soon fatten him up again. All we'll have to do is give him a triple overdose of my wonderful Supervitamin Chocolate. Supervitamin Chocolate contains huge amounts of vitamin A and vitamin B. It also contains vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E, vitamin F, vitamin G, vitamin I, vitamin J, vitamin K, vitamin L, vitamin M, vitamin N, vitamin O, vitamin P, vitamin Q, vitamin R, vitamin T, vitamin U, vitamin V, vitamin W, vitamin X, vitamin Y, and, believe it or not, vitamin Z! The only two vitamins it doesn't have in it are vitamin S, because it makes you sick, and vitamin H, because it makes you grow horns on the top of your head, like a bull. But it does have in it a very small amount of the rarest and most magical vitamin of them all – vitamin Wonka.'

'And what will that do to him?' asked Mr Teavee anxiously.

'It'll make his toes grow out until they're as long as his fingers …'

'Oh, no!' cried Mrs Teavee.

'Don't be silly,' said Mr Wonka. 'It's most useful. He'll be able to play the piano with his feet.'

'But Mr Wonka …'

'No arguments, please!' said Mr Wonka. He turned away and clicked his fingers three times in the air. An Oompa-Loompa appeared immediately and stood beside him. 'Follow these orders,' said Mr Wonka, handing the Oompa-Loompa a piece of paper on which he had written full instructions. 'And you'll find the boy in his father's pocket. Off you go! Good-bye, Mr Teavee! Good-bye, Mrs Teavee! And please don't look so worried! They all come out in the wash, you know; every one of them …'

At the end of the room, the Oompa-Loompas around the giant camera were already beating their tiny drums and beginning to jog up and down to the rhythm.

'There they go again!' said Mr Wonka. 'I'm afraid you can't stop them singing.'

Little Charlie caught Grandpa Joe's hand, and the two of them stood beside Mr Wonka in the middle of the long bright room, listening to the Oompa-Loompas. And this is what they sang:

'The most important thing we've learned,So far as children are concerned,Is never, NEVER, NEVER letThem near your television set —Or better still, just don't installThe idiotic thing at all.In almost every house we've been,We've watched them gaping at the screen.They loll and slop and lounge about,And stare until their eyes pop out.(Last week in someone's place we sawA dozen eyeballs on the floor.)They sit and stare and stare and sitUntil they're hypnotized by it,Until they're absolutely drunkWith all that shocking ghastly junk.Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,They don't climb out the window sill,They never fight or kick or punch,They leave you free to cook the lunchAnd wash the dishes in the sink —But did you ever stop to think,To wonder just exactly whatThis does to your beloved tot?IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLINDHE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTANDA FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!HE CANNOT THINK – HE ONLY SEES!"All right!" you'll cry. "All right!" you'll say,"But if we take the set away,What shall we do to entertainOur darling children! Please explain!"We'll answer this by asking you,"What used the darling ones to do?How used they keep themselves contentedBefore this monster was invented?"Have you forgotten? Don't you know?We'll say it very loud and slow:THEY … USED TO … READ! They'd READ and READ,AND READ and READ, and then proceedTO READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!One half their lives was reading books!The nursery shelves held books galore!Books cluttered up the nursery floor!And in the bedroom, by the bed,More books were waiting to be read!Such wondrous, fine, fantastic talesOf dragons, gypsies, queens, and whalesAnd treasure isles, and distant shoresWhere smugglers rowed with muffled oars,And pirates wearing purple pants,And sailing ships and elephants,And cannibals crouching round the pot,Stirring away at something hot.(It smells so good, what can it be?Good gracious, it's Penelope.)The younger ones had Beatrix PotterWith Mr Tod, the dirty rotter,And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,And Mrs Tiggy-Winkle and —Just How The Camel Got His Hump,And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,And Mr Toad, and bless my soul,There's Mr Rat and Mr Mole —Oh, books, what books they used to know,Those children living long ago!So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,Go throw your TV set away,And in its place you can installA lovely bookshelf on the wall.Then fill the shelves with lots of books,Ignoring all the dirty looks,The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,And children hitting you with sticks —Fear not, because we promise youThat, in about a week or twoOf having nothing else to do,They'll now begin to feel the needOf having something good to read.And once they start – oh boy, oh boy!You watch the slowly growing joyThat fills their hearts. They'll grow so keenThey'll wonder what they'd ever seenIn that ridiculous machine,That nauseating, foul, unclean.Repulsive television screen!And later, each and every kidWill love you more for what you did.P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee,We very much regret that weShall simply have to wait and seeIf we can get him back his height.But if we can't – it serves him right.'